in blossom. On the
kitchen table now.
Taller than me.
Why do I feelashamed.
In my warm vest and winter coat.
In tears.
Hands empty at myside. What are you
for. Standing there as if in
some other country. An
otherwise. Withoutpast or future.
No logic religion sorrow
thought. Whispering
smoke signals tomorninglight.
Are you hearing each other. The sight of me
is of a thing with
too much heart,too much—
salmon-pink blossoms brutal with
refusal of
meaning—why
am Iashamed. Dear
tree,
I have watched
where u welled up and broke skin toemerge like a disaster
of beauty, yr
tall arms here reach up &
outdifferently, cut branches carefully crisscrossed
in the vase to arrange u, to hold u
firm in the
design. And the waterwhich you draw in at
each white
cut. I struggle
to stand atappropriate
attention. Yr sweet acrid scent
reaches me
now. Something elsefloats in the air
around yr blossoms.
It stares at me.
It keeps on staring. If it’sscreaming
I can’t tell. It’s not domesticated.
The rest of yr tree arrives like a bloodshot eye
in my head. Silence isstretching. There is less and less
time. I breathe
quietly. I place my hands on my
eyes. If I am a messenger, what ismy message. I fear
it is fruitless. It is unyielding.
It is devoid of
patience. I reachout. My fingers try for
no damage. But my mind is still here.
It envelops everything.
I think of the invisible stars. I try tounthink them. I would give that
unthought space back
to yr branches.
Some of yr buds aredarker & swollen.
They have not opened yet.
What is it to open.
What is it to open & have one’slast time left.
The green is coming. It is pushing from behind.
I can feel the tremor of hanging on.
I have not yet fallen.How crowded we are on our stalk.